Intoxicated
by t.maximus
Summary: Because we all know ukes can't handle their alcohol. Axel/Roxas Riku/Sora Demyx/Zexion Slash, AU. Slightly Crack-ish


Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, in any way, shape or form.

Warning: Slash.. so yeah, deal with it :D

I apologize if there are any grammar/spelling errors, but I've had to fix it three times already, so I don't care anymore xD

Enjoy :D

**!PageBreak!**

"No, no no! You don't get it! Your supposed to jump over me AFTER I bend down!"

"Oh! Okay! That's makes WAY more sense man!"

"...Holay shit talking mushrooms! I can fly!"

**!PageBreak!**

One could say the situation started out pretty normally, a few guys come over to their friends' house, chill and have a few beers, right?

Well, when you're with Axel, that shit gets completely flipped, it goes more along the lies of, "Let's have our boyfriends over, get them smashed, and see what happens!"

Because we all know that redhead has nothing better to do in life. Besides screwing his little blonde boyfriend, that is. So, when Axel came up with this brilliant idea, he HAD to share it with his friends because, honestly, who could pass up getting their lover drunk, then taking advantage of them later on that night? Not Axel, the little sex fiend.

So it began casually with Riku, Sora, Demyx and Zexion coming over to Roxas and Axel's apartment on a Friday night. Of course, Axel didn't inform any of the semes about his awesome plan of intensity, because Demyx would probably end up telling them all by mistake, and Riku? Screw him

... Actually no. We'll let Sora do that.

The six sat in the living room, having a few beers, just chilling until Axel decided too put his plan epic into action.

"So guys, I was thinking-"

"Oh, my God.. you think?" Demyx gasped in horror. Axel flipped him off.

"Shut up, you asshole. Anyway, so, I'm thinking we should do something fun tonight." The redhead purred. _Play it slow, and ease into it. They'll never catch on._

Roxas sighed. "If this is some plan to get us drunk, then shut up."

_Okaaay, maybe Roxas will, but let's start with Sora, he's gullible enough._

"Well dear Roxy, I wasn't talking to you, Sora, how would you like to play a game?"

Sora perked up instantly. "What kind of game?"

The redhead smirked inwardly. Sora was already hooked. "Well, just between me and you, it's the best game, ever."

"Sora, don't listen to him, he's just trying to-"

"Hush Roxas! I wanna hear!" Sora said leaning off the couch eagerly towards Axel. The blonde sighed, he may be the younger brother, but Sora was such an idiot.

**!PageBreak!**

"I'm gunna do it! I'm gunna jump!"

"No Sora! You can't! You have so much to live for!"

"No! I can't! The world is better off without me!"

"Sora- Soraaa!"

***THUD***

"Son of a _bitch_! That fucking _hurt_!" The brunette cursed, rubbing his backside. Axel grinned, the boy only swore when he was drunk.

First target: Eliminated

"Well Sora, I'm sure a few shots of vodka will help you feel better."

"Yeah, you're probably right. _Fuck_, give it to me now." The redhead chuckled and complied. When Sora was ready, as in drunk as hell ready, Axel gave him a rough shove into the living room, he would start the fire.

The brunette stumbled into the room, and tripped over a side table, causing the other men in the room to look up.

"Hey! Watch where you're going you fucking lunatic!" The brunette yelled with a clenched fist, shaking it at the table. To add further emphasis, he kicked the table, cursing when it ended up hurting himself more than the table. He growled slightly to himself.

Roxas and Riku both sighed. This wasn't good. The brunette huffed, sitting down next to his boyfriend.

"Some people, you know?" Said boy mumbled, reaching for his boyfriends beer. Riku rubbed his temples.

"Sora, what were you doing?"

"You're not my mommy! So shut the fuck up bitch!" Sora snarled taking a large swig from the can of beer. Demyx snickered, earning a glare from Riku. Roxas sighed.

"Sora, I think you should lay off the alcohol for the rest of the night." the blonde said resting his chin on his hand, while silently wondering where his boyfriend was now. Probably having a party by himself, the moron.

"Roxas, I think you should go die in a hole." Demyx proceeded to full out laugh. How he wished he had a video camera right now. It would be pretty amazing to show Sora what he was like when he was drunk.

"HEY! Who told you to laugh you nasty fuck!" Sora barked, whipping a couch pillow at the boy. Demyx yelped as the pillow smacked him in the face.

"Dude! Why is he so angry when he's drunk?"

"It's his first stage. Next he'll be depressed, then he'll be hyper as hell. Like, twice a bad as he normally is." Riku explained taking his beer back from his boyfriend.

"Why are you talking about me like I'm not even here? It's like I'm _invisible_ to you guys! You guys ALWAYS ignore me! I...I hate the world! I want to die!" Sora cried running into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

"Umm, should he really be in there by himself?" Demyx asked nervously.

"Ah, he'll be fine. Give it 15 minutes, and he'll come out happier than ever." Roxas said, leaning back into the couch rubbing his neck.

"Umm, Demyx? Where's Zexion?" Riku questioned. Demyx looked back and forth beside himself frantically. His eyes widened.

Oh shit..

_"Have no fear! Zexion, the sexiest man alive is here!"_

"Oh."

"My."

"_God._"

Standing in the entrance, face flushed, and hair slightly messed, stood Zexion. Ahem, I apologize, stood Zexion with a superman pose, wearing a bed sheet tied to himself. At the moment, the sheet was being used as a cape. Demyx looked shocked to say, and well Riku and Roxas look down right mortified. Riku rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Zexion, the Zexion was acting like superman?

_What is this I don't even-_

"Hey gaaais! Hope I didn't miss too much! How's everybody doin- Oh, mai _God_! Roxas, your hair looks absolutely fabulous tonight! Did you change it?"

Roxas brought a hand up to his hair. "Uh, no. It looks like this all the time." He mumbled still in shock.

Zexion _giggled_. "Oh MY bad! How silly of me!"

**!PageBreak!**

Axel held a hand to his mouth, trying to stifle his laughter from the kitchen. This was too good! Who would have thought things would turn out this way? The redhead exhaled shakily.

Target Two: Eliminated.

Now... for Roxas. How could he end up tricking his boyfriend into getting smashed? Persuasion? No, he'd end up yelling at Axel. Force? No... he would end up getting pissed off. The redhead pondered ideas, putting a hand to his chin, when his little blonde came into the kitchen looking somewhat annoyed.

"Axel! What are you _doing_?" The blonde hissed.

"Well, at the moment you, you're my boyfriend after all."

"That's not what I- fuck you! You, you know what I mean!"

"Ah, not right now baby, we have company over, and that would be rude."

"I never said I would, now shut up! Why did you get Zexion and Sora smashed!"

"Well, I thought it would make things more interesting, no?"

The blonde clenched his fist, then relaxed, a soft expression then came onto his face. Axel raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Well, fine then. Let's make things interesting." Then blonde purred grabbing more beer from the fridge. Axel grinned, too easy!

Target Three: Elminated

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So that pretty much catches you up to speed. Because we all know ukes can't handle their alcohol, the three boys were completely out of character, mind Sora, who was now in his third stage of intoxication. Roxas and Sora at the moment were tangoing, and Zexion was pretending to be a model, strutting in and out of the living room, stopping every once and awhile to pose in rather, suggestive ways. Demyx was really wishing he had a camera, Axel was having a laughing fit, and Riku was just confused, sitting on the couch. After Sora and Roxas finished their dance, the brunette boy walked over to his boyfriend, sat on his lap, and wrapped his arms around his boyfriends neck.

"_Riiiiku~_"

Said boy wrapped his free arm around Sora's waist and sighed.

"Yes Sora?"

"I want you, _now_." The brunette purred burying his head in Riku's neck, licking and nipping at it. Riku stiffened, and gave an unsteady breath.

"Wait until we get home Sora."

"Then, let's go now. Please? For me?" The smaller boy replied shifting his hips against Riku's, causing the boy to groan slightly. He was going to lose it any second now, might as well leave.

"O-okay, go grab our coats." Sora smirked, hopping off to do as his boyfriend said, and Riku stood up, a bit wobbly.

"Axel, we're gunna go now. Sora's feeling a bit tired." The silverette stated rubbing his neck. Axel scoffed.

"Yeah right, I saw what was going on there. Get outta here."

Riku sighed and waved, giving the other boys goodbyes, and rushed out of the room.

**!PageBreak!**

"Dem?"

"Yeah Zexion?"

"As hot as you look with those skinny jeans on, how about we, per say, see how much better you look without them?"

"...Axel we're leaving now!"

**!PageBreak!**

After only the two were left, Axel came up behind his little blonde, who was studying a beer can, and wrapped his arms around him.

"How about me and you get some sleep Roxy?" The blonde dropped the can, turned to his boyfriend, and pulled him roughly down for a passionate kiss. Shocked at the blunt action, Axel stood still, but smirked into the kiss seconds later. After minutes of making out, Roxas broke away, and lead Axel to their bedroom.

It was going to be a good night.

**!PageBreak!**

The next morning however, was hell.

With Roxas bitching because of his hangover, and Axel having to clean up the mess in the apartment, Axel decided maybe he should keep his super intense plans to himself from now on.


End file.
